Stronger

I haven't posted for a little while. Things have been crazy. Finished up for the year at UC. Missing my "work kids". Made it through mom and dad's 40th Wedding Anniversary party. Just been trying to relax for a while but it doesn't seem to be working.

I am really in need of prayer. I am having a really hard time with Bekah. Her ADHD is kicking my butt. We are now on our 3rd medication and are running out of options now. She has really been acting out in the afternoons. Tantrums left and right. I feel like I am talking to the wall most days. She is very argumentative. I get so frustrated I just want to cry and usually do. I feel so bad for her. She has no control over this disease and when she acts out I have to punish her but it breaks my heart because she doesn't understand. This child has been through so much since she was 3 months old. Constantly sick, always on some kind of medication. She was on Adderall 1st and it really worked for a while, then she started going wild in the evenings and we had to go to 2 a day doses which also worked for a while. Then about 2 months ago it got really worse, screaming all the time, yelling at everyone when she didn't get her way. I chalked it up to age at the time. We went to the Dr. for our regularly scheduled appt. 2 weeks ago and I told her how things were going and she switched her to Vyvanse. Things only got worse and she started complaining of horrible headaches and her legs hurting. I had to take her tylenol to school once and then on Monday it was so bad I had to pick her up from school but luckily I had already made an appt. with the Dr. because her behavior had gotten worse. We talked about all that was going on and she again changed her meds to Strattera. The only thing with it is it can take 4-6 weeks to really become effective. I am really willing to try anything at this point. I just want my happy little girl back. She told me the other evening, "Mommy, I am having a bad day, everyday." It broke my heart. Please pray that this medicine works. I am turning it over to God. I know he will show me what is right, in his time.

There is also alot going on in other areas of my life and God knows all about them too. Nothing too major, but stressful nonetheless.

These are the words to a song called "Stonger" by Mandesa, a contemporary Christian singer. I am holding these words in my heart. I hope it is a blessing to you as well.


Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger

Wow, Where has the time gone.

Well it has been 2 weeks since Bekah got her tonsils out. She is doing great now. We had a rough and rocky few days afterwards, she was in alot of pain and ran a fever a few days but not real high. With some prayers she did recover. I am so thankful.
She turned 6 years old on Wednesday and I am a little broken hearted. Don't get me wrong I am thankful that she is growing up but, this is my baby, my youngest child. I was remember the day she was born. She was so tiny and beautiful. I cried everytime I saw her. She was a surprise child but she has turned into such a blessing. She has taught me alot about patience, not because she is a wild child but because she has been a pretty sick child since she was about 6 months old and she developed RSV. Then a few weeks after she turned 1 she had her first of many seizures, which was very hard for me to have to deal with but Praise the Lord, this coming October, if the Lord sees fit she will be 2 years seizure free. They seem to have stopped since her ear infections have stopped because of having the tubes put in the first time. (They had to replace them when the tonsils came out). I know she is on the mend and will be able to enjoy alot more things now.
I am also very thankful for my other gorgeous children. Elisabeth is growing up into such a beautiful woman. It breaks my heart that my oldest baby will be 15 in July. Old enough to get her learner's permit (OH MY). Christopher is such a doll baby. We took him to Joey's to get his hair cut this evening, he looks even more grown up. He is such a little man for 7 years old.
They all spent the night with my mom and dad Tuesday night, my awesome mommy kept them so I could sleep in. I have not had alot of sleep with Bekah being home last week recovering from her surgery and working nights. Since they are on spring break mom offered to do this to help me out and I am very thankful for that.
Mom and Dad will be celebrating their 40th Wedding Anniversary, May 1. We are throwing them a party on April 30th. I can't wait to see some old friends and family we haven't seen for awhile.

A roller coaster week coming up.

I literally have a roller coaster week. Today marks 9 years since my grandmother passed away. It was an Easter Sunday, which our family felt she could not go home to Heaven on a more fitting day. I miss her dearly. This weekend Shawn, Elisabeth and I are going away to Martinsville to the Nascar race. Christopher and Bekah are staying home with mom and dad. I will miss my babies but I am looking forward to spending time alone with Elisabeth. Since she is a teenager now she doesn't like to spend much time with mom. Wednesday is my 36th Birthday and my 9 year Anniversary. Yes I got married on my Birthday. Even though Shawn drives me absolutely crazy sometimes I still love him with all my heart and I am very thankful for him. Thursday, Bekah will be having her tonsils out and possibly tubes put back in her ears. She had tubes put in 2 years ago and they just recently fell out and she has had several ear infections since. The poor thing has had strep throat 7 times since December. I know she will do fine and God will have his hand on her but the mommy in me is still scared. She has to go for preadmission testing today and I am not sure how she will handle the bloodwork. I pray everything will go smoothly.

Here we go.

Well I have joined the blogging bandwagon. It will be a great place for me to share my crazy experiences of life. I am very thankful for what God has blessed me with in life. I have more than I have ever asked for. A husband who loves me and takes care of me everyday. Shawn is a hardworking man who has worked hard for the last 5 1/2 years so that could be a stay at home mom to be there for my 3 beautiful children who never fail to amaze me everyday. For that I am truly thankful. Elisabeth is my oldest came to me at a point in my life when I really needed her. She has filled me with so much joy and laughter. She is very talented, she has recently started playing the piano and is a natural at it. I love to listen to her play. She inherited her musical talents from my dad. Christopher is my middle child and though I love all my children equally, he holds a special place in my heart because I almost lost him. I had 3 miscarriages before he was born and when I was 9 weeks pregnant with him I almost lost him and I was put on bed rest for 10 weeks and God spared his life and allowed me to become a mother to this little red head who calls me mama which makes me smile. My youngest is Rebekah (Bekah), she challenges me everyday, she is very independant and has been since she was very little, but in the evenings when she say mommy will you hold me, it makes me feel so special. My parents are getting older and it is very hard for me to accept. I love my mom and dad with everything I have in me and will always be there for them as long as they need me. I am very thankful to have my older sister Missy and my brother-in-law Kris. They blessed me with 2 gorgeous nephews, Jacob and Jaxon, who I love like my own. I also have 2 beautiful nieces Tori and Lexi, who belong to my sister and brother-in-law Laura and Jerry. I am thankful for them also. They help make our family complete.
I have a huge extened family. With my dad having 13 brothers and sisters and all their children and my mom has 2 sisters, and thier children. I am thankful for both of my mom's sisters since this is really the only living family my mom has left. Well enough for now. I hope you enjoy.